so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
