so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
