with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
