Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
