Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
We smell like vodka and hangover
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