I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
