as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need moral support for this bender
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
