playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
