chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I am mentally ready for anal.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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