Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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