just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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