Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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