You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
