what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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