last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i would punch a child for taco bell
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
