we're chasing vodka with high fives
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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