Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
