Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
