This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
