i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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