THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
