the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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