Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
