dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
