OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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