Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
