I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
