that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
