All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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