apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
