There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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