i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
