would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
