I seem to have left my pride at pride
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
