Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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