Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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