You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
