So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
