just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
