I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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