**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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