Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
