alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
