I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
