Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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