Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
