This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
