just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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