I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
