Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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