lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
