I'm drive I can fine osifer
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
