Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
