i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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